Finding Our Way through Overwhelm

Intro:

Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by infinitely precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.

James:

Hello, beloved. It's me James and I thought I would just come and visit with you today and share some thoughts about what it's like to be overwhelmed in the world. Now maybe you're in that place right now, You're finding yourself overwhelmed by the challenges that are facing you in your personal life or the challenges that seem to exist on every front in your economic, in the world's life, all of the news pushing you over various edges, and you feel that the chaos of it all threatens to pull you down in a way you can't quite get back up. It can almost feel paralyzing. I had a conversation with this about this a couple of weeks ago with my mom, but I also have this conversation with myself on a regular basis because sometimes there are a lot of good things that are demanding your attention.

James:

Some of them may not feel good. Some of them may be bad things demanding your attention, but there are often a lot of things that seem to call out to us and want us to be focused on them. And sometimes with the cacophony of voices coming at us, we become paralyzed. We can't find a way forward. We can't figure out what we ought to do because there are so many good things or less than good things that are requiring our attention, that call on us to do them now.

James:

So, what I want to suggest to you is that there are ways to deal with that sense of overwhelm. The very first thing I want to suggest to you is to simply acknowledge it. There are a lot of things that seem to be a lot of people, a lot of activities or events, a lot of chores that seem to be drawing your attention and you're overwhelmed by it. So start by just for a moment catching your breath. I feel overwhelmed.

James:

I feel overwhelmed. So claim that feeling. Claim that feeling inside yourself. I know that doesn't solve it but it starts, it's a place to start. Recognize that this feeling that is short circuiting all of your inner working and keeping you it seems from doing any good thing is the sense that you are overwhelmed by too much stimulus, too many stimuli.

James:

And as the case may be, there are ways to deal when you have too many stimuli in your life. So, having acknowledged it, having caught your breath and by intentionally slowing your breath, Intriguingly enough, tells us by that slowing of our breath that we start to bring the calm to any sense of panic that's within us. That doesn't mean you're not still feeling anxious or perhaps overwhelmed, but that feeling can be lessened. Now, the second thing I would encourage you to do is to get out a piece of paper. I know old school, old school here.

James:

If you don't want to use paper, you could simply get out you could get out some device, whether it be your desktop computer or laptop computer or even your phone. And open a listing app or open a blank space where you can create a list of the things that currently are the siren calls of your life, all of the many voices you are hearing. The dishes need doing. The living room needs vacuuming. The bed needs making.

James:

The clothes need washing. The yard needs mowing. For me, more books need packing and I've reached the end of my boxes. So, more boxes need to be acquired so more can be boxed up. There are meetings I need to attend to.

James:

There are pieces of information and emails that are sitting in my box calling out to me. There is, you know, from several there is the upcoming just a little over two weeks away, the upcoming memorial service for my father. And all of these pieces weigh on my time, on my schedule, on my thoughts. So, I look at all of those. And one of the things on my list to do is to record this message.

James:

So, I look at the list and I try to first of all having made the list, look at it and say what really can I do right now? What is it that needs to be done right now? Now, you want to set up an ordering of what's most important, you can. But sometimes you look at it and they all have an equivalent value in your mind. And so, once again, you're caught in that cacophony of voices and they're all a siren call.

James:

I suggest to you that you need to start somewhere. I need to start somewhere. So pick one of the things on the list. If it helps you, circle it. It would if it was on a piece of paper or check it or underline it or highlight it or bold it, whatever you want to do depending upon how you've made your list and start there.

James:

Start with that one thing. The truth of the matter is believe inside of ourselves that multitasking is possible, but neuroscience actually tells us that's really not possible. We're doing a series of tasks and in this moment I'm in this task and this task and then this task and then this task And when we get that divided, none of the tasks really gets done well. So we have to pick one and be in that for a moment. Now you might think of the spiritual practice of practicing presence.

James:

You might think of that breath bringing you back to the moment, being where you are in this moment. You can only be doing one thing right now and you have chosen what that one thing is by circling it in your list or checking it, whatever you choose to do. You have chosen to do that thing. Now, without regret that there are other things on the list calling out to you at the same time, set the list aside and go do the thing that you have chosen is the thing for you to do. Once you complete that, first of all, there are less siren calls coming out to you.

James:

There are less places to be focused because if you started with five and you've completed that first one you circled, now there are four voices that need to be attended to. Sit back down with the list. You don't even have to sit down. You can be carrying it in your pocket if it's on your phone or whatever. Look at the list and choose another item and go to it.

James:

Perhaps you set as a goal, I would like to complete realistically set realistic goals, would like to complete three of these items before lunchtime today or before I go to bed tonight, depending on how big they are. And perhaps if each one of the tasks is big enough, you take a reward between them. Perhaps if the task is too big for you to complete all at once, you set a timer and say I've got to knock some of this off. I've got to get rid of some of this. I am going to spend 15 minutes, 40 5 minutes, however long you want to set, set a timer and go at it for forty five minutes.

James:

Can turn on some music, whatever you want, but at the end of that forty five minutes, stop. Whatever amount of time that you said, stop. Reevaluate. Is this something that I'm making good progress on and I want to continue to do? Or are there other things that really need my attention before I go to bed tonight that I need to do now?

James:

Now these are probably things you do at work but they're also working your personal life. So move to the next thing or reengage with the same thing and set another timer. Maybe the other thing that you need to do is the dishes and you know that takes you about five minutes. That's all the dishes you have. Now, of course, if you have a big pile of dishes, maybe longer, But you want to feel like you've finished something.

James:

So maybe you take a break from that first thing you started that you haven't been able to finish. You go do the dishes. They're done. They're drying. You know, you've wiped off the counters.

James:

The kitchen is clean. You go back to whatever the other thing was you were doing. You see, being overwhelmed really comes because there are too many things that seem to be demanding our time and we get to choose which of those demands really is important enough for us to engage now. But sometimes simply being able to see what the tasks are by writing them down, typing them in, whatever it is, and then working at them one by one is all that it will take for you to feel a sense instead of being overwhelmed that you've accomplished something. And then maybe you'll accomplish all the things on your list today.

James:

Chances are you might not, but then you have a place to start tomorrow as well. It's not hanging over your head. Tomorrow may bring with it new tasks and you can sit down and make that list again. Start somewhere. Make a list somehow.

James:

At the end of the day grant yourself or at the end of the list or at the end of each task grant yourself five minutes to sit down and have a cup of coffee, drink a glass of water, listen to your favorite song, you know take a walk around the block, whatever seems like an appropriate reward before you move on to the next thing so you can sort of pause and change gears. But you see, overwhelm is just too many stimuli and if you take them each individual stimulus one at a time, you can begin to knock them off and shorten the list of things. Just organize yourself a bit and find what is your priority now and take that step forward one at a time. That's what I'm trying to do. Surrounded by lots and lots of tasks, I take on one at a time and try to be focused on that one for as long as I've set my timer or as long as I can or whatever means I use to measure that.

James:

Just a thought for today, it might help you if you're feeling overwhelmed by all the things in your life. You can do some other kinds of prioritizing. I'm not going to watch the things that stir me up. I'm not going to do other things. But for today, I'm thinking just about the tasks that are calling out to you.

James:

So remember you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are no matter how overwhelmed you feel or how well you are, how good you are at taking care of the tasks one at a time. You're still infinitely precious, you're still unconditionally loved, you are still a gift just as you are. Keep that in mind until the next time we're together, May you find a way to the other side of overwhelmed. In any case, have a great day.